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Are your friends really your friends? Or is there an ulterior motive to the friendship?

25 years ago I met someone who needed help, I took her home, helped her and soon she was on her way. She married, moved to the UK and maintained the friendship. She always tells me through emails, cards, or holidays how wonderful to have a friend as me. After all these years I found her on Facebook.  Her last name was different, her kids birthdays and her husband real name was all there.  But I never knew it! All she did was send pictures; my daughter, my husband ect. Is she my friend?

I worked for a company and made some friends. They did not work physically with me but they were co-workers/friends. We exchanged presents for Christmas, Birthdays ect. We never visited each other’s home or met their family. One in particular expressed the sentiment of ‘being her sister of her heart, you’re family!’ When I left the company I was lucky to get a text or call once a month. No exchanges of news just ‘shooting the breeze ‘ as the saying goes.

I once met a girl who was in the mental health system.  To everyone she was taboo! I was compassionate and helped her when I could. She used me and my resources and I let her. She maintained her friendship even when there was no physical or visual contact. I visited her once in  a while and that was a friendship yet to be defined. Months went by when she would be silent, then when she lost a friend or there was a problem I became the center of her world.  When she had no use of me she stopped keeping in touch. A year later she would call. Well, I have to remember her situation and accept her for what she is.

My next door neighbor of 15 years moved away never heard from her again.  We were in each other’s home, holidays, dinners and shopping spree we shared. All gone wiped out. Two years later ran into her. She greeted me like a lost long family member.  We talked, we caught up we exchanged cell numbers and we said good bye.  A week later I called it was a wrong #!!!!!

These are but a few stories, there are more out there.  I could be the culprit, maybe is my character or my situation in life or maybe ‘out of sight, out of mind’ as the quote goes. I have yet to figure it out.  But friendship is not what it use to be!

Image curtesy of Pintrest

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