A friend when she calls all she stresses in a loud voice “I hate liers!”
Her stories are a prolonged 45 minutes of this subject on her drive home.
According to general rule ” everybody lies” but do we?
What is considered a lie?
All I know we are not “Vulcans” we do tend to strech the truth or avoid it for not hurting feelings ect. ect.
“Even a lier tells a hundred truths to one lie; he has to, to make the lie good for anything.”~Henry Ward Beecher
Please feel free to comment.
‘Invisible to my mother’ my friend kept repeating over and over.
All her life, she had to be in the shadow of her sister, her brothers and eventually her nephews and nieces.
After all these years, and now that her morther is on the verge of the onset of senility, she still wants acknoledgement.
It has driven her to bouts of depression, suicide and delusional tendencies.
What makes a daughter want that approval, or attention way past her childhood?
Some substitute with religion by becoming a nun. Some get married and married until they find that missing ingridient and some stay single and pray on their family for attention.
She’s the one that at birthday parties, not hers, wants everyone to read the card she gives outloud or make sure everyone knows where and how much she spent on the present. On holidays she socializes by telling her woes to visiting friends and relatives, or just wants to dominate the conversation with her art, her sewing, her new adventure to the mall.
After a while, even her family stops to invite her, lie to her when they have parties and eventually even stop talking to her.
The only link now is the parents, mostly the mother. And if the mother is more like her daughter, there are conflicts and indifference.
Now she turns to her friends. She tells them her tales of woes and pain, soon she actually believes it. When the friend helps to advise and tries to have her meet her family and mother half way, she resents you, she hangs up and she goes to a hospital on suicide watch.
Guilt sets in at first for everyone. She makes sure there is a designated caller to inform everyone of her hospital stay.
At first everyone rushes to support her, after 10 years of these attempts, no one visits. Then, she uses these hospital stays for making new friends with her roomates and fellow group.
After all said and done, she comes home and she calls everyone she thinks slighted her, and informs them on lenghty phone calls, all about her new friends and the new parties she is planning now she is home and better.
About mom? For now she’s out of the picture somewhere in Florida.
I woke up today with the idea I can be happy!
Then I start to listen to conversations, and phone calls and I wonder if I am in the Twilight Zone!
I start to think positive thoughts! It is not helping! My friend or I think she is my friend is in spych ward and calls me screaming and yelling she can’t take it anymore and starts dumping all her anger and furstration and her helplessness. After two hour of this onesided conversation ” got to go lunch is here!”.
My old friend or should I say ancient friend from scross the way walked over to tell me all about her abuse from her kids. Apperantly if her son went away for his birthday with his first family for the weekend is not a great thing in her book. Then he decides to celebrate with his current family (second devorce) on Tuesday over his mother’s house made her unhappy. When she heard he’s celebrating with his girlfriend on Thursday (today) she got all upset, hence me! She told me she needed someone to vent! She has everything, her children, grandchildren, greatgrandchildren, her home except her mind.
She doen’t remember happiness.
Than it leaves me. How can I be happy with all this turmoil around me?
I cannot to close the world out I need tbe connection.
For today I will strive to be happy!
Are your friends really your friends? Or is there an ulterior motive to the friendship?
25 years ago I met someone who needed help, I took her home, helped her and soon she was on her way. She married, moved to the UK and maintained the friendship. She always tells me through emails, cards, or holidays how wonderful to have a friend as me. After all these years I found her on Facebook. Her last name was different, her kids birthdays and her husband real name was all there. But I never knew it! All she did was send pictures; my daughter, my husband ect. Is she my friend?
I worked for a company and made some friends. They did not work physically with me but they were co-workers/friends. We exchanged presents for Christmas, Birthdays ect. We never visited each other’s home or met their family. One in particular expressed the sentiment of ‘being her sister of her heart, you’re family!’ When I left the company I was lucky to get a text or call once a month. No exchanges of news just ‘shooting the breeze ‘ as the saying goes.
I once met a girl who was in the mental health system. To everyone she was taboo! I was compassionate and helped her when I could. She used me and my resources and I let her. She maintained her friendship even when there was no physical or visual contact. I visited her once in a while and that was a friendship yet to be defined. Months went by when she would be silent, then when she lost a friend or there was a problem I became the center of her world. When she had no use of me she stopped keeping in touch. A year later she would call. Well, I have to remember her situation and accept her for what she is.
My next door neighbor of 15 years moved away never heard from her again. We were in each other’s home, holidays, dinners and shopping spree we shared. All gone wiped out. Two years later ran into her. She greeted me like a lost long family member. We talked, we caught up we exchanged cell numbers and we said good bye. A week later I called it was a wrong #!!!!!
These are but a few stories, there are more out there. I could be the culprit, maybe is my character or my situation in life or maybe ‘out of sight, out of mind’ as the quote goes. I have yet to figure it out. But friendship is not what it use to be!
Image curtesy of Pintrest
My cat Calypso is an extraordinary cat. Everytime she hears me crumple a piece of paper runs to my side and waits, I make a great show of noise and crumpling and finally I throw it in the ratan waist basket by my desk. The next thing I hear is Calypso into the basket grabbing the crumpled paper between her teeth and race onto my lap to await me give her the command to drop it. She usually looks ridiculous like a creepy smile while she’s holding the crumpled paper. She can do this all day, she is tirelessly. I never knew when she started doing this but has been a ritual for 6 years. This form of excersise keeps her fit and it is an hysterical party playtime when we have company.
Artful conversation is lost these days. I met a friend the other day, we have not seen each other for quite awhile. It was a disaster from start to end! We decided to do this over lunch. We met at the famous Cheesecake Factory. It is usually busy from lunch break crowd and grandmas meeting daughters and grandkids. We managed to grab a table and we were asked our drinks and we moved on to updates.
I never got to mine! All she kept blabbing about was her new boyfriend, her new car, and the nail salon that charges an arm and a leg for her fake nails!
I had so much I wanted to share, my ups, my downs and my new found freedom in the past year. No way! She could not stop talking. She did not even eat her salad, she had it packed to go. I of course enjoyed my salad, the bread basket, desert and coffee. I had nothing to pack to go!
After 2 hours of this wonderful one sided conversation she Ta Ta me and left me with the wonderful compliment of paying the check!
Went home deleted all her information out of my digital electronics, and the phone book!
Credit for image @pinrest.com