A man and his ever nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000 or you can bury here here in the Holy Land, for $150.” The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked “Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?” The man replied, “Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.”
Image curtesy of Google
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how would he know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her just simply mail him a post card, and write ‘Spagetti’ on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
‘Honey,’ she said, ‘you received a very strange post card today.’
‘Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,’ he said.
The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written:
‘Spaggetti, Spaggetti, Spagetti, Spagetti, Spagetti. Three with meatballs two without. Send extra sauce.’
The Yoga mats and Guru schools have been out of control in the past decade or so. The juicer machine, smoothies and organic produce are the in-thing now.
The School of Kissing is the new trends! Instead of ballroom dancing. This new school is not for the amateur. Noooo, it is for the mature couple who need to re-connect.
Couples go to therapy, they remember their first kiss before their last sexual encounter.
~A kiss is just a kiss~ or so we thought, until that’s all there is left of a romantic interlude!
I wonder if dentures get in the way!
La Vie Parisienne Print 1929 Man and Woman Kissing by Leonnec
Image courtesy of La Promeneuse Mèlancolique@Barbisa1922
If you are approaching 50 or just past it you are as confused as when you were 16. Yes, it is true, at 16 you were just learning to bloom, at 50 you are realizing you starting to wither. I do not think so, I just do not feel withered. But, you have some cruel people out there who make it a point to remind you of it everytime you celebrate a new birthday!
When you were 16 you were a caterpillar. A caterpillar is vastly different from a butterfly. A caterpillar spends its days crawling from leaf to leaf, chewing on whatever delicacies it can find. The butterfly sees those same leaves from above, where it soars with the breezes, stopping occasionally to sip nectar from the flowers. And yet, these two very different creatures are the same, in different phases of their lives.
At 16 you are vibrant, joyfull and innocent open to the world, you absorb it like a sponge. At 50, the weather isn’t as perfect as you hoped it would be. The music they are playing on the radio today is dull. The food you ordered yesterday at lunch was poorly cooked. Maybe it’s in your nature to complain or be negative. Maybe some of them or even all of them are legitimate. To dwell on it is a huge mistake, for one thing, doing so oppresses you keeping you in a bad mood.
I remember watching a movie ” Calender Girls” the characters were a range of 30’s to 50’s something. When I introduced the subject at work one of the 30’s something said ” but that’s old ladies’ movie!” I guess at 50 I was an old lady. Her friends are all younger than 25. I guess if she’ll look in the mirror one of these days she’ll realize she’s up there too.
Finding a pot of gold in the silver lining is to rave about all the good things that have happened and the blessings I have encountered. Age is just a number, and you only start counting when the ones who envy you make you feel old. That co-worker stayed young by hanging-out with young ones and missing her own journey. I have walked the journey and I am still creating paths, each of those paths refers to a phase and the beautiful memories I create in those stages, it adds to my metamorphisis.
image curtecy of @msb_pictures
~I am not young enough to know everything~Oscar Wilde